“Why are you doing this?”
“I am not doing this, Ade. Life did it to us. We don’t have a future together.”
“Of course, we have a future together. We are getting married.”
“We cannot get married, Ade. Your genotype is AS and so is mine, we can’t risk it.”
“There are treatments. I’ve heard of things parents can do to avoid having a child with sickle cell.”
“There are no guarantees. Besides, even if they work, such things must cost a fortune. We can’t afford it. I don’t want to have sickly children. I don’t want to do this to any child. I won’t.”
“If you love me…”
“It is because of that love that I want better for you. Better for me. Better for the children that are coming. Love is not just a feeling, Ade. It’s also a responsibility.” Remi was heartbroken but she knew she was making the right decision for both of them. “It may look like I’m hurting you now, but in future you will be grateful I did this.”
Touching his hand one last time in a gesture of affection, she walked away.
A couple with genotype AS are likely to have a child, or children, with the sickle cell disease. People with sickle cell disease suffer a lot of pain all through their lives and some die young.
If you find yourself in Remi and Ade’s position, will you walk away?
Or is love worth the risk–bearing in mind the child bears that risk in the biggest way?
On a personal level, I have expressed the secondary stress of sickle cell disease and watched, and still watch my sister and two of her children go through this pains. I would not want that for any child of mine.
Share your thoughts.
I will walk away too, yes it will be difficult but its better. I have three cousins with
SS Genotype, one is dead and the remaining two are still battling for their lives , the saving grace for them is that they are not in Nigeria. Its not worth it, cos when the crisis start, Love will not be enough.
I’m sorry about your cousin, it just reiterates the need to be conscious of the decision we are making. Not only because of the risk of dying young, for some survive until old age, but above all because of the pains they have to live with every day.
Love is not always enough.
It’s stressful and draining.
The little ones themselves won’t be entirely happy.
I will walk away to save both of us the stress.
I am AA but I love this AS guy. All my family are AA so I’m scared. I don’t even want to give birth to AS children that will always be choosing. I’m just thinking how cool it is to comfortably marry AS.
Well, the truth of the matter is that AS genotype carriers need you. You are considered our saving grace. I understand your worry over not putting your children in the position where they will face choices like the above. But you are safe marrying this man, and hopefully so will your children be.
The choice is yours to make though.
I’m AA and I am dating an AS man, sometimes I silently pray that all my kids will be AA.