Have you ever been in it? Did it work out? Or is it working out?
M and I were states-apart all through our relationship and before marriage. I was first in Lagos and he, in Port Harcourt. Then I was in Ogwashi-Uku, Delta State, and he, still in Port Harcourt.
It wasn’t easy, but it worked out. I guess one of the biggest reasons it did was that we were open and friendly with each other from the onset. We started out as chatting friends… Lol, yeah, we met online. But not on a dating site.
It was a French speaking forum: frenchkingdom.com… Not sure it still exists. But I registered to improve my spoken French and he sent me an email… and we started communicating. First in French, but soon we shifted to English, which I was more comfortable in.
But from the get-go, we were open and honest. For me, it’s a principle. I don’t lie, and I don’t pretend what I’m not. He didn’t either.
It took about a year before we moved from just-friends to dating-couple. It was a smooth transition, lol, no hitches. And although, we broke up after ten months as a couple, we got back together after about ten months apart and kept on until marriage… and up until now.
It’s not a fairy-tale romance. No relationship is. Every relationship needs work from both partners and it requires commitment.
And that I think it’s the biggest step to make a long distance relationship work: Commitment from both partners. A quote from John Borroughs says:
“For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice.”
So, keeping that in mind, partners in a long distance relationship should:
* Commit to be open with each other.
* Commit to communicate all the time.
* Commit to talk about, and share, everything in your lives, even the trivial, seemingly mundane stuffs.
* Commit to visiting each other as often as is possible.
* Commit to supporting each other and being there when one person needs the other.
* Build respect, understanding and even more, trust.
It’s tough, maybe tougher than regular in-same-place relationships, but it can work out if partners are committed to making it work.
So, you ever been in one, or are in one right now? Share your experiences with us.
It’s our first relationship talk on our new style of life, lifestyle and relationship blog, and I hope we can all be a part of it.
Looking forward to reading your responses.