Taking the first step is so hard to do. It is something I used to have a difficulty doing. I, in fact, still struggle with it. It’s a work in progress for me getting past the walls of my pride, my feelings of being right and having the right and my fear of being wrong, disappointed or getting rejected.
And it is something many of us struggle with, even in our relationship with God.
I have this string of “deals” I keep bringing before God. It is always same pattern and same deal: “Father, do so and so for me first, and then I will do so, so, so and so for you.”
Or: “Father, give me this and this and I, out of love and gratitude, will give you that, that and that.”
Notice how my so and that are more than his?
Yeah, that would be me being “wise.” As if… Lol.
I have again and again, and again, brought forward these “deals” and have as many times as I have, clearly heard God say: Do first my bidding. Each time I have heard it though, that many times have I been frustrated and annoyed with God.
But lately, I have come into a new and illuminating understanding.
Remember the parable of the prodigal son? When he has squandered all his inheritance and had nothing or no one anymore, he said to himself: ‘I shall go back to my father’s house.’ And straightaway, he took that first step and made the first move.
But when he was close home, we were told his father saw him from afar. Meaning, his father had been keeping an eye out for him.
He had to make the first move but his father had already made his and was hands-open ready to welcome him back home.
And then what did Jesus say about us seeking the kingdom? He said we should seek FIRST the Kingdom of God… That is, first do my work, and then I will bless you with all other things.
Then somewhere else, he said: Give and it shall be given unto you.
If we are to read the entire Bible over and over, we will find that God, repeatedly, asks us to take the first step; we make the first move and thereafter, he would act.
Many times, we are afraid. What if I do this and get nothing in return? What if I’m not good enough for a reward after service?
The fears and what-ifs are clear signs of our lack of knowledge of and trust in God.
He is not man that He should lie.
He is ever faithful, even when we are not.
His eyes are forever opened on us.
The prodigal son’s father was watching out for him. So, too, is Our Father in heaven watching out for us and arms-open and ready to welcome us when we make our move.
He said to Abraham: ‘Get up and leave… and go…’ It simply means: Make the first move and see how I will bless you.
Those of us who are parents know that there comes a time in your child’s life when you say to him/her: ‘Come get it.’ You no longer go to them to hand over whatever they are asking for. You instruct them to come to you, to walk over, and get it from your hands.
God, too, as Our Father is making same demand on us: ‘Come to me first. I am here and waiting. Make your move and see what I will do.’
I am learning this, and whilst doing so, I am shelving all my silly oversabi “deals” and trying to do things his way. It is not easy, being who I am, but I am determined to keep at it and prove God’s everlasting faithfulness.
What is that thing you are struggling and you are asking Him for?
Whatever it is, make a move. Test Him and see if He will not prove Himself faithful. To reap, we must first sow. To sow, we must let go of something. To let go of something, we must have willing hearts and expectant spirit.
Faith and trust in Him is key.
Take that first step today, even babies do this, and without help from their parents. So, do the same.
I wish us all a blessed week.