• Blog Affairs

    as e take happen…A Must Read

    Hiya folks,

    I always wonder who reads my blog affair posts. Let the readers say “Aye” and non-readers say “Nay”.

    Yeah right.

    Un-funny joke aside, I finally got Pretend Engagement published. For reasons best known to El Diablo, my manuscript chose the day before it was billed to be published to start having issues.

    I was rounding up the formatting and prepping it for conversion when it wouldn’t save. Then dear “NEPA” decided to show their talent and went AWOL with the light. As a no-generator citizen of Naija that I is now, I had no backup plan.

    I stayed awake Tuesday night to past 2am before I accepted my fate and went to bed. By morning still no power and I knew my village pipu has recovered my house address. Chai!

    I’m an individual not adept in managing crisis. In layman’s language, I go to pieces under stress. I lose my mind. I panic. I rant. I curse and swear. And I cry like a baby.

    Na so I be. And I showcased these traits in bright dazzling colours that Wednesday morning up to midday. Then Michael…God bless his patient, sane self. He found a solution to my electricity problem and I bravely wiped my tears and got on my laptop.

    But El Diablo and my village pipu have joined forces na. They were now Team Scatter Theo Kpatakpata. As I was rounding up the formatting and clicked CTRL Save, a dialogue box jumped out and advised me to save anew the document with a gibberish file name entered in the box.

    Why not? I re-saved it. Then tried to continue work. Manuscript no gree o. Ahn-ahn, warris happening na?

    My temper already heating up, I closed the document and tried to reopen. Kole werk!


    Don’t I know how to use Microsoft Word again? I tried…tried and tried. Oh baby told me that the content is corrupt and so therefore “unopenable”.

    Hei! My hand flew to my head like a true Igbo woman. My heartbeats started doing acrobatic jumps like the never-stay-calm human that I am.

    Oh Chi’m! What is that sin I committed that you cannot forgive? Why is it that you let Satan win me all the time? Why? WHY?

    I marched out like a soldier on war front attack, grabbed Michael and started wailing. It is over. I am finished. Where do I begin from.

    The problem?

    That manuscript…the latest edited version can only be found on that laptop. That corrupt copy was the only copy available. The one saved on my phone is an old one, and I have no way of redoing the edits in same order.

    To cut this so-long-a-story short, after close to one hour of dedicated wailing and seeing the end of my writing career, I… I oh, not Michael or anyone else. I found the solution to recovering the document online. And paid a hefty $10 to have it downloaded. Another site offered same service for $39 but the One who parted the Red Sea opened a less costlier route for me.

    Document recovered and formatting restarted…from the beginning o… I made a post on the blog and shared my sorrow with y’all.

    Those who read offered their gracious sympathies. But that was not my immediate concern. I had a lot of work ahead and still had NEPA issues.

    Further cutting the story short, as hand don dey pain me to type, I worked hard and barely slept for the next 3 days. I lost the document again at one point. But I’d wised up and was constantly saving a copy on my phone, so I recovered it and went on.

    I would lose it a third time to corruption before rounding up the formatting, and converting the document to PDF and EPUB versions.

    A true Nigerian document you must agree with me.

    Anyhoo, that’s how it happened. And as we Christian faithfuls say, the devil is a liar.

    Pretend Engagement is live on the Tenth Magic Press e-bookstore and Okadabooks. It’s not there to do fashion parade. Endeavor to buy it. I need to recover my $10 at least. Not to talk of other monies and time spent.

    Okay now, I’m done boring ya asses off this Monday morning. Click on any of the “HERE” below and send me your affectionate greeting.

    Until I return with more boring blog affair announcements, I remain yours in writing and reading…

    E go be.

    PDF Version : HERE


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  • Reply FAVOURITEShades March 9, 2020 at 9:30 am

    This was funny in a not funny way.

    I am just glad it ended well

    Well done maám

    i will acquire my copy ASAP

    • Reply TM David-West March 9, 2020 at 2:47 pm

      Really funny in a not funny way. Lol. I never want to have the experience again abeg

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