It’s shocking, and annoying, for me these days, (maybe it has always been I’m not conscious of that), when I encounter in any form a woman slut-shaming another woman.
When men, not all definitely, slut-shame women, we are offended, as we should be. But when we do it against ourselves, we should not only be offended, but also ashamed.
I look at this and I see it as a self-abuse. That woman is you in another skin, and you are, in a way, verbally and in every other form, abusing yourself. That’s how I see it.
Today, in this post, my question is: why do women slut-shame other women?
Why is it that when two, or more, women fight, you start hearing details of their sexual activities and only to shame the other?
Why is the fact that that woman has been involved in some sexual act a means to shame and dishonour her?
Why is sex a thing of shame for us as women?
Men, again not all, and culture, and even religion, sell this narrative of sex not something women should openly claim to enjoy and we buy into it. We don’t fight it, and we use it against ourselves.
Have you ever seen two men fighting and their body counts, or the kind of sexual activities they have been involved in, mentioned? No, they don’t use sex as a weapon against the other. Why? Because they are free to have sex, and that is never considered wrong.
Guess what? So too is a woman. She is free to have sex and it’s not wrong, and it shouldn’t be used as a weapon to shame. It shouldn’t. And definitely not by us.
Let’s talk, please. Why do we still, in this time, slut-shame another?
4 Comments
Right from time, women have always seen each other as competition. Even in the business world, before a man can confront or try to intimidate you, two women must have challenged you and tell you how much you don’t belong. And if by chance you make it to the top, they’d be the first to accuse you of sleeping your way through. Our culture has its reservation on women and sex, and it has been so ingrained in us that we act the script so well. The rivalry and competition makes easier for women to slut-shame each other without remorse.
Hmm, you’re right. Competitiveness breeds malice, and where there is malice, the desire to bring down the other thrives.
‘Why is the fact that that woman has been involved in some sexual act a means to shame and dishonour her?’
That right there is the million dollar question… And until we and the society accepts the fact that we(women) is as free to have sex as much as guys without it being made to seem like we are committing abominations.. There will always be slut shaming… Both from guys, our fellow women, relatives n even the society at large.
Indeed, nothing will change here until we make changes in our mindset concerning women and their right to enjoy sex too.