• Relationship Series

    Playing Wife, when you are not one.

    No one ought to tell a grown-up how to live their life, and at the risk of sounding like that’s what I’m doing, I want to make public this opinion: Don’t play wife when you’re not one.

    This opinion has always been mine, but my making it public stems from last Monday’s Relationship Series post — Left at the Altar.

    While there were only a couple comments, it was obvious the question of why a woman would stay ten years in a relationship without making it legal was prominent. Let me add, and because we all know not everyone is after a legal union, when that is what she actually wants.

    Let’s take a minute aside from the subject at hand to ponder on this question: Is there a timeline for a relationship if you want it to end in marriage?

    I am asking, how long is long enough for you before you decide this is going nowhere and it’s time to call it quits?

    Personally, if I were after a relationship I want to be legalized at some point, then six months would have me reviewing if I’m wasting my time. A year at most. But then, I’m not known for my patience, so there.

    While I hope I get answers to that question, let’s revert to our subject matter, not being Mrs Wife when you’re Miss Girlfriend.

    There are no hard and fast rules here. No one has the big, never-fail answers. But, it’s my, possibly not-humble, opinion that you should know your job description always. It’s fine to go the extra mile for that desired promotion, but be careful you don’t end up the staff Management knows they can use and send on her merry way with a pat-on-the-back commendation.

    Or worse, a complaint of not possessing the right qualifications for that managerial position.

    What am I yapping about?

    Cook, clean, laundry services, errand express services, providing customer service satisfaction for all his family members… those are not your duties. Girlfriend status, in my opinion, doesn’t demand it.

    Actually, in my personal opinion, no status demands serving anyone hand and foot. Period.

    Again, I lack patience, and I’m socially inept.

    But seriously, why would anyone think doing all that would impress him, or his family, enough to ‘accord you the coveted title of Mrs’?

    Is it the outdated idea of being a ‘wife material’?

    Let me not bore you with long words, dis wan no be novel. But if that’s the reason behind taking on a role that’s not your own, and which you probably shouldn’t anyway, be rest assured it usually backfires.

    Where it doesn’t backfire, husband, a.k.a. Oga, acquires the opinion that he’s married a ‘real woman’ who is Jack of all trades, well versed in all domestic chores, ready to serve and always at his beck and call.

    End product, more than half the time, see finish syndrome.

    It’s just my opinion, humble or not, though. What is yours, are you willing to do it all to prove he should make you his wife?

    Did you?

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