A Slice Of Heaven – 14

Had she ever felt this kind of desperate lust? This almost uncontrollable desire to launch herself into a man’s arms and do just about anything she could think of with him?

Anya couldn’t remember, and while she wasn’t ashamed to feel it now, it worried her a little that she’d spent the last four days since their date, thinking about having sex with Saz and still wasn’t sure if she should do it.

So she’d made up her mind before that it would happen for sure, but she wasn’t sure if she should let it happen. Why should she have sex with him: because he was a hot looking man? Or, because she had the hots for him?

“You want to run after him and beg him to put you out of your lustful misery?” Nkechi hissed in her ear.

She couldn’t stop herself from startling, but Anya stopped her glare and aimed a sweet smile instead. “Lustful misery? That’s the first I’m hearing that term.”

“That’s the first I’m seeing a woman stare so lustfully and painfully after a man.” Nkechi glared at her. “What is the matter with you, can you think of nothing but sex when you see the man?”

“Not without making an effort. And where he is concerned, I don’t want to make too much of an effort, except maybe to yank off my clothes.” At her low hiss, Anya laughed. “I want to sleep with him, but I’m worrying if I should.”

“You shouldn’t. There, I’ve solved the problem for you.”

“That’s probably the wise thing to do, but…” Anya lifted her shoulders and started wiping the counter. “He just found out I used to be married.”

“He didn’t know before?”

“No.” Anya tucked the towel back in her apron, and leaned her hip against the counter. “I’m used to people generally knowing that fact about me, that it’s no longer part of the facts I fill in. But those are people who know me or have been here long enough to hear the gossips. He’s just a recent returnee, and one who doesn’t mingle a lot.”

“More like he doesn’t mingle at all,” Nkechi muttered. “Kene says people are saying he keeps a lot to himself. He doesn’t even mingle with his relatives, except maybe his father’s only brother.”

“There’s nothing wrong with staying on one’s own. Some people prefer their own company. He’s probably not the very sociable kind.” Or, he’d learned to not be that sociable, and especially in this town, Anya thought. “In any case, I think he might be uncomfortable with the fact that I am a widow.”

“Is that what he said?”

“I said ‘I think’, Nke, so obviously that’s not what he said.” Anya rolled her eyes. “He actually said it’s not a problem for him, but I feel like he would rather I wasn’t one.”

“Well, seeing as there is no way to undo that fact, he will have to accept it, or let you be.”

“And you will like it if he let me be, wouldn’t you?” Anya teased, giving her an elbow-jab.

“It will be the best thing for you.”

“Maybe. But I won’t like it.” It surprised her to realise that she wouldn’t like it if Saz stepped back from her for just that reason. “There are people who like to take advantage of you because they think you’re a young widow and haven’t much choices. And there are those who are wary of you for that very reason. I don’t want Saz to fall in either category.”

“It doesn’t matter if you want him to or not, if he’s already in either category,” Nkechi pointed out. Then she added in a softer tone, “There are men who don’t, and won’t ever, fall into any of those categories.”

Men like Peter, Anya thought. But she and Peter weren’t meant to be, unfortunately.

“I think I’m afraid that if I have sex with him, it won’t stop there. I will want more, and he might not be able to give me more, for whatever reason.”

“Which is why I’m saying, keep away from him. I know it will happen, and then your first attempt at a relationship after such a long time will end in pain. You don’t need that kind of nonsense happening to you.”

Anya laughed, and out of affection, gave Nkechi a side hug. “It’s sure I will feel pain, one way or another, once I get involved with a man again. Pain is part of love, sex and relationships. Nothing we do eliminates it.”

“I know. But there are pains that crush us, and pains we smoothen over with a gentle rub and move on. That hot looking man who keeps coming here, chasing after you, looks like the sort to give a woman the pain that crushes her heart.”

“Lucky my heart is not yet involved then.”

“But it will be, if you keep seeing him, and end up sleeping with him.”

“Not necessarily. I might sleep with him and discover he makes a poor lover, and get over him.”

“That kind of man doesn’t make a poor lover. He’s the kind that knows what to do with all his tools.”

“Tools?” Anya’s eyes sparkled with fun. “I thought there is only one tool.”

Nkechi snorted. “A man’s hands, mouth and tongue are also tools.”

“Well, now I know. I shall be certain to check out how he uses all his tools.” When she snorted again, Anya chuckled and teased, “I bet Kene is an expert in using his tools.”

Her mouth twitched, but Nkechi only said in a dry tone, “I wouldn’t be married to him otherwise. I’m a woman who hates to waste her valuable assets.”

Anya threw back her head in a loud laugh. Then clamped a hand over her mouth when the customers sharing a table shot them a curious stare.

“Get a grip on yourself,” Nkechi reproved her. “This is a pastry shop, not a comedy centre.”

“But I swear, you are a comedienne, Nke. I feel so much better. I mean, I’m not thinking anymore of desperately attacking Saz and his hot mouth. Oh my gosh, I so want to kiss that man’s mouth.”

“And she says she’s no longer thinking of attacking the man.” Throwing her a baleful stare, Nkechi turned towards the kitchen. “I’m going to start cleaning up. It looks like it might rain, and I want to be home before it does.”

What would it be like to spend a raining night in bed with Saz? Anya mused, and then pressed a hand against her stomach to stop the slow burn there.

Having sex with the man was inevitable. It was going to be, if she didn’t get a handle on her wild thoughts.

---

It did rain, but only in slow drizzles as she made her way home. And because it was only light showers, she pulled her bike to the side of the road when she felt the vibration of her phone against her thigh.

Anya tugged out the phone and frowned slightly when she noticed it was Ejima calling.

“Ejima, good evening. Anything the matter?”

“Good evening, Anya. I know you must be on your way home now, and I shouldn’t disturb you…”

Anya cut off the apologetic chatter, “Tell me what’s going on, Ejima.”

“It’s Mama Ashie. She’s been restless throughout the day, and this evening, she started asking for Onyema. I’ve tried to get her to calm down, eat her food and sleep, but she’s insisting she won’t do anything until Onyema comes. I’m sorry, Anya.”

“Why apologise? It’s not your fault, and it’s not a problem.” But Anya supposed she apologised because the old woman was her husband’s great aunt, and should be her family’s responsibility. “I’m on my way. You and I know she will calm down once I’m there, so stop worrying.”

“Thank you, Anya. We appreciate this. I do.”

Anya nodded. “See you soon.”

She tucked the phone back in the pocket of her jeans, kicked the bike on again, and reversed in the direction she just came. Maybe it was time she took Mama Ashie back to see the doctor. If he insisted again there was nothing he could do, maybe he should prescribe some medication to help her relax whenever she was restless.

The old woman was glaring darkly at Ejima when she entered the living room illuminated by two rechargeable lanterns.

Ejima got up from her seat to give her a hug. “Thank you for coming. You’re a little wet. Sorry.”

“I’ll dry up soon.” Anya dismissed the drops of water on her. “Go on home. I will take care of her and bring you the key when I’m leaving.”

“Thank you,” Ejima said with a relieved smile before taking her leave.

“Mama, I hear you’re being stubborn this evening,” Anya began in a soft chiding tone, crouching beside her to take the hands that were tightly fisted on her laps. “Tell me what the matter is.”

Mama Ashie, of course, glared at her. When she was in a tempestuous mood like this, no one was spared her glares. “I have nothing to tell you. I want Onyema to come here and tell me where she’s been.”

“I want her to give me the answer to that question too,” Anya said, and gave a decisive nod when the old woman blinked at her. “Well, yes, she has to, not so? She left this house since morning and is yet to come back at this hour. What kind of misbehaviour is that?”

“It’s the foolishness of young people.” Mollified that no one argued anymore with her, Mama Ashie sniffed as she allowed her features to relax a little. “I’m going to discipline her severely this time. She threw away my cane last time I flogged her, but I’ve got another.”

“A good discipline is what she needs, and who better than you to give it to her?” Anya lifted to her feet, made sure not to pull her up. It would start another fight. “Come, let’s go find your cane. She will meet us here and explain herself.”

Mama Ashie hesitated, eyed her suspiciously, then gave a nod and slowly got up. “I left it in my room. I think behind the cupboard I keep my China dishes.”

“Then we will find it easily.” The China dishes were no longer there. Onyema had claimed her inheritance before her mother passed. “I think though we should eat while waiting for her. Do you have food in the house? I am famished.”

“You are wet too. A grown woman playing in the rain.” Mama Ashie muttered some reproving words as she lowered on her bed and pointed to the table across the room. “There’s a plate of food over there. Bring it over here. It’s jollof rice. I hope Onyema did not over-spice it this time.”

It wasn’t Onyema, but Ejima who had made the food. And it was bound to be spicy as the woman liked her spices, as Anya knew.

“I think it is perfect,” she said, taking a small bite after heaving the table closer to the bed.

“We have not prayed, yet you’re eating. Bad manners.” Mama Ashie glared at her, then shut her eyes and muttered aloud a short prayer. “It’s too spicy,” she declared after her first spoonful. Then went on eating. “If you’re going to bring me food tomorrow, then I want fufu and ogbono soup. Lots of dry fish.”

“It turns out I had exactly that in mind,” Anya said, and left her to keep the conversation going in any direction she wanted.

She had her tucked in bed and sleeping deeply before she dropped off the key to the house and got back on her bike. The ride home under the rain was chilling, but it wasn’t something she had not experienced before.

However, instead of conversing with her mother and sister, she went straight to her bedroom, braved a cold bath and got herself ready for an early night.

She imagined she would fall asleep with no hardship given the nice chilly weather, but the second she stretched out on her back and closed her eyes, her mind awakened and shifted her thoughts to Victor.

She had taught herself to stop thinking about him; about what could have been if he hadn’t died. They would probably have had a second child by now, and if the one who hadn’t made it into the world had lived, she would have been three now.

They had been so happy. It had been for only a short time, but they had been happy. They had believed they would always be happy, together.

Rolling on her side, Anya held her body tight against remembered pain. She missed what could have been, but it was no use thinking about it when today and tomorrow were all she had.

And what will be in her tomorrow? she mused, smoothing a hand along her arm. Victor used to do that when they lay on the bed together, and she used to love it. Would tomorrow bring her more loneliness? Or, maybe comfort through a man like Saz?

Would it bring her a husband? Children?

She shook her head, let out a long breath and firmly put an end to the thoughts. No over-thinking. It never solved anything. She was going to sleep and leave tomorrow to take care of itself.