So, on Monday we talked about Would You Like To Know? and almost everyone, I think everyone except for our dear Iyke David, said they would like to know if their partner was cheating. I think that eye-opener makes us a people who want to know what is going on in their lives, no hidden closets. And that same eye-opener has given birth to today’s relationship topic: Snoop… and Scoop.
Yeah, I thought that title would make it less of a disturbing, and more delightful, thought.
So, we agree we want to know. We agree we’d rather not live in the dark and pretend bliss when it’s plainly a fool’s paradise. We agree that knowledge does indeed empower us… at least to decide best what to do with our lives, right?
How then do we know?
Oops! I said it. Right up there, I said it: Snoop.
Okay, I know there’s this huge, ginormous debate still on-going about the moralistic rights and wrongs of snooping, its diabolic intrusion into another’s privacy, its many irreparable consequences and blah-blah-blah. But I have always asked the question: If I don’t snoop, how then do I know?
Ask him… or her.
That is the ‘moral’ people’s recommendation: Ask the partner.
So, I say: “John, have you been cheating on me? And don’t lie, because I’ve noticed you’ve developed a sentimental attachment to your phone and last night, you wiped the last chat you and Nina had. So, tell me, are you cheating on me with her?”
And John says: “Oh God, Theo, I am so, so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. We started chatting regularly and then one day she visited and she tripped and she fell and I fell and we both fell and organs fell out and the falling out led to the doing of that.”
That, that up there, is sure not John’s response. Unless he hates you and totally disrespects you and he’s so done with you, that kind of crap up there is something he will never say. And if John was perhaps, Johanna, she would never say that too.
Because no one, absolutely no one, says crap like that and no one, almost no one, owns up to their cheating, unless when caught in the act.
And that, dear people, is why I will ask again: How then do we know?
And again I answer: Snoop.
If I were a millionaire or if I resided in some Western world country, I might hire a Private Investigator to keep “an eye” on my partner. But, unfortunately, I am not yet a millionaire and I don’t yet reside in some Western world country, so I guess that leaves me with flipping out my PI’s hat, slipping it on and doing the “keep-an-eye-on” myself.
Ooh, how so cloak and dagger. Lol.
So, to get the scoop on John… seriously don’t know why the name John came to my mind this morning, never dated a John in my life and don’t quite know a John now. Guess it’s just a common enough name, plus when you add ‘Doe’, it becomes the perfect anonymous name. Still, if there’s a John here, I’m sorry. I don’t think you’re a cheating ass… unless you are a cheating ass, then… dang!
Okay, so to get the scoop on John and Nina’s, and maybe other’s, sneaky acts, you will need to slide on your PI’s hat and get your snoop skills in expert mode. You don’t want to be that secret service spy who gets caught whilst trying to catch other people, do you? You don’t want to be that detective who leaves trails instead of cleaning up after himself, huh?
I’m guessing your answer is a big, fat: Heck to the NO.
In that case, here are a few tips on how best to snoop on John… or Johanna.
Oh, come on! You actually thought I was going to teach you fantastic steps on how to snoop on your partner?
Do I sound, ‘cause most of you have never seen me, that not-so-moral to you?
Did I hear someone whisper a ‘yes’ just now?
*open-mouthed shock* I’m appalled!
Okay, okay… drama over. Back to serious… *roll me eyes*
In Relationships, mostly we talk, as you all know. So, today, we’re actually talking: Would you Snoop… and Scoop?
If you think your partner is cheating on you: Would Snoop… and Scoop? Or would you simply Ask… and expect an honest Answer?
Let’s talk: Snooping PI or Politely-asking Partner, which are you?
Do you think snooping is too wrong to be ever right? Keep in mind that when we are snooped on, we have this natural human tendency to feel violated, so would it be something you would do to your partner, accepting that it can, in turn, be done to you?
And *whispering* if you have snooped, do please share your super private investigator’s techniques with us… WE WANT TO KNOW.