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I wan gist o

I just want to gist… nothing else. To gossip dey hungry me… chai!

How’s everybody? First working day of the week, how are you enjoying it? Abi, you’re like me who hates Mondays to Wednesdays? Lmao.

Chai! I’m supposed to be writing NPL ep.6 now and preparing to post but I can’t fit. I’m not motivated rah-rah. That is why I love that series eh. It will take like 18 months to 2 years of their lives to tell the whole story, so why hurry? He-he-he.

Meanwhile, have I ever confessed that I’m a lazy writer? Chai! I lazy die! Writing exhausts me. It’s when I’m done and I begin work on editing that I go: “Choi, TM, you too brilliant! Did you write this? Fiction Writer like no other.” I love to hype myself gan. I am my best fan o and I read my stories like it’s not me who wrote it… with dedicated, passionate attention. Before nko! Lol.

Meanwhile again, I discovered I have gaps in Whispers Of The Heart (novel I was writing while MD & KBM were published). It requires 3 extra chapters… I tire. I have put a small break in transmission on it. Now I’m focused on a novella: One Glass Too Many. That’s TM for you… no worry your head, you hia?

Another meanwhile, can you imagine that I was browsing SDK… Those of you who “know” me will know that I love chooking my eyes inside SDK. I read almost every-every there. In short, Sweet Forbidden was inspired from same-same chronicles there in 2016… abi na 2015 sef? #scratches head

Anyway, there I was o this weekend and read that some oyinbo couple were postponing their wedding until they find their missing dog. Dog kwa? Chai! This oyinbo people serious so? You fit hear that kain thing for our Naija here? Taaaah! If bride or groom try talk that kain craze talk, dem go begin find where their village people take their picture dey do hand-fan.

Me leave my wedding because of dog? Na im be Fada wey wan conduct the marriage? Or my Uncle wey wan receive bride price? Abeg, stop ruff play jor!

Ehen! Who and who are watching this BBN something?

I am not watching o. Cable not available. Should cable be available, TM won’t watch. Why? TM has long banned Big Brother from her life since tipke-tipke. But I am seeing that some people carry the matter for head like gala for Lagos traffic. Especially this Kemen vs. T-Boss matter.

O gah o! What was that sef?

I even glimpsed some FB pages #side-eyes @… and found some Opinion-Poll Masters saying that who authorize Big Brother to moralize?

Woh! My take is: whilst the BBN or any kind of BB house is not the most moral homestead… in short, it’s 21st century public-approved Sodom and Gomorrah sef. But despite that, I think it’s a “it only happens when consent is given by both parties” kind of thing. From the gossip I gathered… yes o, it was gossip and I was enjoying it while gathering… he-he-he… but from what I gathered, many “Voltrons” are saying this T-Boss mixed-breed chick did not permission Kemen to go down below with his fingers. So… it is “sexual molestation”. And on that basis, and make world people and plenty “Voltrons” no kill them, Big Brother and co decided to pursue Kemen go back to im papa house and im weight-lifting studio.

Honestly, I no send dem. Not one of them. Shebi, they stand a chance of winning 25m and me, I am here struggling to write chapter-1. If I hear sai person ask my opinion again… mtcheew!

Meanwhile the 3rd time… abi na 4th time sef? I want to lose weight. Seriously. But I love food too much. Even as I’m typing this, I am hungry and thinking what next to eat. Why is it a crime in this world to be “cuddly” eh? Must we all be long-necked and atinga-looking? Why can’t I have some “folds” and feel sexy? Why?

Mtcheew! I cannot come and be killing myself abeg. After all, Oga M no even too send. Over-sabi people everywhere.

But the problem is I want to look like a hot mama… ewo! That is the nsogbu!

Anyway, gist me too. What is happening with you? Anything big online, offline and ati-gbo-gbo-e lines? What’s the latest gist? Abeg, no tell me sai FG wan approve budget. Na dat wan consign dem. Mtcheew!

What’s up with you? At work and that mean boss is messing with your head? In school and that Mr. Lecturer is determined to ruin your grades? Bf and Gf wahala? No big-bucks mataz? Whatever it is, share with us. We want to know because we love you like family… and we too like gossip… *wink*

Make I go hunt down food abeg… no be me create overweight… na God dem sai create everything.

*eBook Purchase made easier! Via: *RECHARGE CARD PINS!*

48 Responses to I wan gist o

  1. Treasure says:

    Ma TM, I love the way you take us as family. Me, I’m vexing o. Imagine me telling someone I want money for food, do you know what he said? That Acting President is better than the laid back President. Things will be better now. Imagine??? Wetin concern me? Even if Osii becomes the president, will I start earning salary, will he give me scholarship or will he give me money for food? Mtshew. What’s the connection between my stomach and the the Nigerian President now.

  2. Treasure says:

    Another thing is this wack story of airforce Yeye people. I thought Nigerians were too mean to be psychopaths? I thought it’s only in the West that people have all those Yeye sickness.

  3. iyke david says:

    Me i still de recover from Saturday’s hang-over.
    We did a get-to-gether and every every was surplus,
    You know now in Naija we no wan waste any food or drink, so we have do the needful by making sure that we consume all the consumeables!

  4. chic says:

    I have never liked the big brother thingy. The very 1st one BBA that Bayo represented Nigeria was OK though.
    This chop chop matter sef de affect me too. I want to lekpaaaaaa!!!

  5. Fiii says:

    Lol. Nice one ma’am. My own gist be say I get exams sha. So na reading things. Hope you had a nice day TM.

  6. Adefunke says:

    hmm,no light for my area since two weeks ago and my phone’s battery dey behave anyhow, no probs

  7. mcsteph says:

    Me ah want to sue my Network company, I need followers for that, laughs, anyway, the need for internet is keeping me awake at night and I dislike that.
    That BBN sef, I haven’t watched any before, am not a fan of reality shows I believe they are fixed.
    My ogbonge news be say, I dey crush on someone who is a lil bit older than me….I hate my life.

  8. Tosin says:

    My Oga dey vex me this morning. We were supposed to file some process since like forever (am a lawyer) but my boss was trying to be smart. Now he sees reason to do it and is disturbing my life to finish up. Why not do something at the right time instead of rushing. Now sending me message when am on the way to court. Abeg will I divide myself into two.
    And my nanny is trying to be smart. She says her phone is bad but when she wanted to ask somebody for money her phone dey work. Why are people like this? I just dey watch her in 3D, she doesn’t know her work will soon finish.
    Thanks TM for allowing us rant. Have a great week ahead

    • So you are a lawyer? #storing that info… *wink*

      So bosses are a royal pain in the ass… Kai! Yet we can’t do much but put up with their nags & tantrums. About your nanny, domestic workers are usually a menace… lawd! They consider themselves irreplaceable until you show them otherwise.

  9. grace says:

    me i just dey vex person wey i put for work dey biff me now because we dey joke for office i come tell am say her church no be beter church na him she tell me say she no go talk o me again oh, my pipu why we christians dey always carry church for head on the last day will baba God ask us which church we dey go.mtchewwwww.Tm me and you na d same thing ph,i like food wella, i had to eat very early this morning before leaving my house fpr work, everybody must not be lepa in this life some of us must be chubby, if anybody tell you say you too like food ask the person wheather na water him dey take as food

    • Lwkm @ some of us must be chubby. Too funny abeg. About church matter and your paddy, you know females are sensitive. In short over sensitive and the matter of church Na very sensitive something in Nigeria especially. Some can take any joke until you call their church and pastor… Then e don become rough play and vexing things. I usually find it funny cos as Catholics we suffer all kinds of prejudice and criticisms and we hardly ever do battle over such. Thing is I’m exhausted with the separation in the church of God. We ought to be one.

      Abeg free her. When she ready, she go talk to you

  10. grace says:

    True talk Tm na d same person don preach several times to me to leave catholic say no be church and God does not answer the prayers of catholics because they belive in the old testament instead of the new testament,me no fight her, me i leave everything to God.yes oh some of us must be chubby,while some will be orobolicious,while some will be lepacious.God created all of us beautiful

    • We operate on the Old Testament??? Lmao. Now, that’s a “critic” with absolute no knowledge of the Catholic Church. Well, I’ve actually gone past the “My church is better” level. I am all about Jesus now and serving him right. At the end of the day, like you earlier said, it won’t be about our denominations and God’s not going to ask anyone which church they belonged to. At least, I don’t think He will. He will be asking us: Did you feed me when I was hungry? Did you clothe me when I was naked? Did you pray for me and was compassionate to me when I was broken and burdened?… Na dat kain question we go dey hear. I pray F9 will not be our portion on that day… Lol

  11. FavouriteShades says:

    hmmm…BBN…no opinion and thats deliberate ….if am to have one,its that i agree that its modern day sodom and gomorrah

    #Team fitfam/lepa shandy, hmmm….i personally try not to disturb myself about that as i have not been able to achieve the consistency to not gain weight back after losing it…so

    TM,you a lazy writer…you dont mean it….you have been doing an awesome job so far and if your way of writing works for you….oh well

    • My dear, at this point, I am all about “go at my pace biko”… Lol. But seriously if the “lazy” factor wasn’t involved and that “lazy” factor wasn’t hyped by the many things I got on my mind, I would dish out more eBooks for all your reading pleasure and my money-making pleasure *wink* *wink*. Still, I do okay and will, as matters get better, do better.

      Jealousing your #team fit-fam… lol

  12. mady says:

    Evening Ma oo..
    Me is fine… Howdy
    Ma own be say we came back 4rm fieldwork a wk ago and na nxtwk we go submit d report and I Neva even start to dey think Wetin I go report not 2 talk Abt typing it, d woman now come lecture again 2day come dey gv us many maps 2 report as assignment…. Ma mates ain’t even complaining and I feel Lyk d odd one, it come dey do me Lyk say I b d unserios 1 among em.
    D tin even b say.. 2 start work dey tire me buh if I start Na so I go tk serious finish am in record tym

    Anyways Skul is going stressfully well as usual and am in d we_hate_monday team

  13. frances says:

    This gossip too good ohhhhh. I no even watch BBA let alone BBN. Otondos dt is wat dy are. Now to ma betta gist.
    Shey una sabi dt song whey p-square sing ‘e no easy ohhh’. My pp to be single parent na hard work. Sometimes I believe say I dey craze sef cos everything go just compound at once,school fees , house rent, maintenance, chop money, attention to this and that.
    Kai! One dey now just dey sing all songs for hymn book even as my head dey bang and dey ask me questions on top.
    Sometimes it is fun, sometimes maddening, confusing, and I wonder am I guiding them right, is der sth I she be doing or shd av done right
    But baba God dey kampe. So anytime overwhelming emotions hold me,I go just run go meet am cos me I fittn’t saut. I no even sabi talk too much before. I don sabi say na 1 day at a time na im betta person or else person go craze for this world. But if dy were not here my life wud be damn too lonely so baba God You too much cos You sabi every.
    Office gist: dem don kari my 2IC go anoda office make only me dey work two stations. The worst be say I no ever lose weight even for this stress so. Instead na only ma eyes go dey red like person whey drink pinto.
    TM no worry just try cut down ur night food to fruits and be doing small easy work outs. Check am for U whey get TUBE *winkssssss* . And the children say u still be like sweet sixteen. So der u av it.
    E get 1 olodo babe whey really annoy me today. She just make-up finish like barbie in the glass house, wear jeans and polo whey tight like scuba diver, then paint lips like Madonna but she no fit fill ordinary form with name and address. I fittn’t hold it anymore so I ask her “so u just woke up and made ursef up to come to the bank and ask me who will fill the form for you”. She look me bad eye finish go report to my boss, dt 1 tell am make she go fill the form come first, na so she dey until cock crow. Person go just dey waka like tolotolo with peanut brain.
    Ok. Make I stop first. My senior sis son give me assignment this night.
    Till later gisting, keep smiling and keep being YOU for me is ME and God is God.
    This is called so long a gossip.

    • Choi, this your gist llllooooonnnngggggggggg…. lol. Glad you are finding strength in God. He’s the Man who’s got all our backs. St. John Bosco said: “Do the best you can and leave the rest for God and Mary.” keep that in mind and work with it.

      Many times I have found that the most-made-up faces are often the less filled-up heads. Top achieving women, except they are in fashion-related industries, are likely to have little time to go mega pro on makeup on a daily basis. I, at least, believe so.

      I don’t even eat late. I think fat just loves my body… mtcheew!

  14. First time to comment on dis blog and i hope i can get a gift for dat #winks#. Well ntin much going around me. just thinking hw to find a decent job nw av graduated nt all diz nonsense dey re offering. imagine person with medical lab certificate being offered bakery job. #tufiakwa#. my frnd post for facebook say him oga for airforce kill a female junior colleagues jst bcos say civilian broda dey follow am. nawa o

    • Wow, are you serious about the last gist? terrible!

      Anyhoo, welcome to Life and Spices.com where we are one happy writing and reading family. Sit back, enjoy our stories and don’t forget to always leave your remark… that’s one way to get rewarded *wink*

  15. mady says:

    Ehn… Na dis 1 I just came across ooo

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

    They are killing us slowly in Nigeria, and we do not know.

    Apparently, for 9 years, a civil law case has been going on against Coca Cola Bottling Company, manufacturers of Fanta and Sprite,

    That impacts directly on our health and lives.

    Let me try and paraphrase it, so una no go sleep off.

    Basically, one Dr Fijabi, had in 2007, bought about N12 million worth of Fanta and Sprite drinks from Coca Cola Ltd, and exported same to the United Kingdom.

    However, on reaching England, under Health and Safety regulations, the authorities tested the products and found them to contain “poisonous levels of Benzoic Acid and Sunset addictives”

    And were therefore declared “unfit for human consumption”.

    The whole export consignment was consequently destroyed.

    Dr Fijabi therefore, sued Coca Cola for Negligence, breach of duty of care to its customers, and loss of earnings.

    Fine.

    Now comes the interesting part, so sit your yansh well :

    The Almighty Coca Cola offered only one defence in court :

    That Mr Fijabi did not tell them he was going to Export the Fanta and Sprite to England;

    That they were indeed manufactured “FOR LOCAL CONSUMPTION ONLY.”

    What???

    For local consumption?

    Make I continue?? Hmmmmmmmmmm

    So what Coca Cola Bottling Company is telling us, is that,

    If they knew the Fanta and Sprite were to be exported to England, they would not have added so much poisonous acid;

    But for the people of Nigeria, it is normal to poison us.

    Chikena.

    That is the official courtroom statement of Coca Cola Bottling Company of Nigeria.

    Yesterday, The Lagos High Court under Justice Adedayo Oyebanji, was ‘crying’ when She gave judgement against Coca Cola, declaring them callous and negligent.

    She ‘cursed the parents’ of NAFDAC for not carrying out proper laboratory checks on ‘minerals’ production in Nigeria.

    Cancer was listed as one of the ailments that the present Fanta and sprite can cause, especially if taken with Vitamin C tablets.

    She therefore, ordered Coca Cola to henceforth add a WRITTEN WARNING on Fanta and Sprite bottles that “this product must not be taken with Vitamin C.”

    Once again, Oyinbo has come to our rescue.

    This are stuffs people in Nigeria should concern yourselves about,

    Not whether Dollar has gone up or down.

    Na D current gist b dah1 oo… And u knw say me dey drink Dos minerals Lyk say 2moa no dey.

    • Shuo! Mady, I had to do a quick online check on this your tori. I’ve got my brows raised on it though seeing as I only found it on the Sahara Reporters website. Still, it does call for caution, so I’m keeping my eyes open and my ears down for any “gist” on Coca Cola. But the truth is that these manufacturing companies give us less here because they know they can get away with doing so. A lot of sub-standard goods are in the market and many of them are highly dangerous to our health.

      Then again, a lot of sub-standard services are also out there in this country. You are likely to get better services elsewhere than in Nigeria. Even in something as common as Payment Gateways, Website Hosting services, Self-Publishing sites and so on. This country is all about “cheap, careless services”… #so-sad

  16. Abi says:

    I don dey try comment for days but liver no gree me chop
    na unto this weight matter o….I am chubby (someone just told me I’m a human teddy bear) but ehn I no know wetin I go use kill this belly fat chai…..I don do exercise, cut down on carbs, no more refined sugar/softdrinks for years but nothing
    I will live with it like this jare
    make nobody suggest Keto biko things are hard in naija I cannot spend more than I earn
    bye and stay blessed

    • mystiq says:

      I did the cinnamon and honey tea n it worked for me coupled with sit-up n crunches until I bought fake cinnamon. For now it’s a cup of green tea every morning an hour before meal

      • Abi says:

        ok tanx
        wen I get to kano I will look for it cos this jigawa state NYSC sent me to is still living in the time of pharaoh

        • Abi, my sweet love, I will get in touch with you when I get back. Hang in there, okay? God made you and you are one beautiful woman. That’s all. Meanwhile lol @ Jigawa still living in the time of Pharoah. Abeg snap pyramid come for us…lwkm

      • Mystiq, I will get in touch with you about this when I get back. If I forget, abeg remind me.

  17. chic says:

    Ehen, since this gist still de open, abeg who follow me see the “cockroaches in filter of “pure” water” video?
    I haven’t been able to drink water since I watched it.
    Can someone, anyone kindly tell me anything asides corruption that works well in Nigeria?
    God Almighty please make a way.

  18. chic says:

    On another note, is it by force to change password?
    I haven’t been able to access my yahoo email because yahoo say I must change password, say my password too easy. Na by force? I like am like that. Shuoo!!!
    I went to ugbolu market some days ago and on getting back, it occurred to me that around 2009, I used to go to that market with #3,500 and after buying all I need and want to buy(bunches of plantain, a sack of sweet potatoes, yams, 10litres palm oil lots of pawpaws, oranges, pineapple), I’ll still have change, after buying lots of fruits and all what not.I remember buying a bunch of plantain for #100 once then.
    Last week I went to the MKT with about #20k and e no reach buy anything tangible. A normal sized bunch of plantain was selling for as much as #2000-#2,500.
    Naija I hail thee.

  19. elizabetholaitan says:

    OK so. ate thrice today. its not yet 5pm BT i still plan on eating again and soon for that matter.
    l don’t know what to say than I’M HUNGRY. I’ve been like this since morning, after taking breakfast I’ve eaten twice but I’m still hungry what to do? pls, where is all the food I’ve been consuming going?

  20. elizabetholaitan says:

    you had better not come out of hiding or else…..
    I was supposed to fast and I did not, I think that was my punishment for disobedience.

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