No Perfect Life – 1

NPL EPISODES: 2. 3. 4.



Buchi woke up. It wasn’t the alarm clock that woke her up. And she just didn’t wake up. She had been awake for a little while now. Maybe it had been longer than a little while. She hadn’t been able to slip back into sleep since she woke up to use the loo at 3:25 a.m.

She was thirty-seven years old. Today was her birthday. How did she end up thirty-seven and still single and has no man in her life?

Buchi blinked and reached over to turn off the alarm clock which has started to croak. Thirty-seven. Unmarried. No man in her life. No man since Nnanna had broken up with her nineteen months ago.

He was married now. He had a baby now too. A boy. She had seen his picture on Instagram. An adorable boy. He looked like his mother. She had seen her picture too. Young. Beautiful. Slim… even after having dropped one.

Buchi pushed back the thick wool cover, picked the remote from the bedside table and turned off the air conditioner. Then she inhaled, expired the breath in slow, short squeezes and then pushed up from the bed. Today was her birthday, she wasn’t going to begin the day reminiscing and wishing for things that were not, and would never, be her own.

She knelt to pray. But couldn’t think what to say.

She was disappointed in God.

Heavens! She didn’t even know if that was possible, or allowed, to be disappointed in one’s Maker. But she was. She was disappointed and felt abandoned, and unloved, by Him.

“What do I say to you now?” Buchi murmured into the palms she’d buried her face. “Thank you for keeping me alive to this day?”

She felt the prick of impending tears. It was inevitable. These days when she thought to pray, she cried instead.

She didn’t want to cry that morning; and she didn’t want to be ungrateful either. So, she reached for her New International Version Bible from her bedside table and opened to Psalm 23. Reading… praying it was like a reminder to Him that He was her Shepherd and He was not supposed to abandon her.

She ended the Psalm and stood up. She didn’t feel better. But she didn’t any worse either, so that was good. Good enough for her birthday.

Buchi strolled into her bathroom. She brushed and bathed and she came out again.

Today was her birthday, so something elegant was expected. Something to show her celebratory mood to the world. They would expect her to be in a celebratory mood at the bank. They would want to celebrate with her. It was, after all, a chance for free drinks and chops.

She chose her brand new Tahari asymmetrical skirt suit. She would have gone bolder on colour than navy blue but vivid colours were unwelcomed by the bank. Black pumps left at a safe three-inch length and her She’s A Lady dual croc handbag accompanied the suit. Her makeup was always barely-there. She used the bank as an excuse these days, but truth was she’d never been the makeup type; and she hated to stare long into the mirror.

What was there to see after all? An overweight woman in her late thirties?

She hated the extra pounds. They’d started mounting from the second she turned twenty-five, one pound at a time, and they wouldn’t go away. Just like her single status. They were probably the number one reason for her single status. It was certainly one of the major things Nnanna had grumbled about.

Buchi picked her bank id from her desk and headed for the door. Every time thoughts of Nnanna hit, she knew her relationship single status was becoming stale. Nineteen after breakup and she still thought of him? Who, but a woman without another man, did that?

Her mother was in the kitchen. Buchi swallowed a silent sigh. She’d been hoping she’d still be in bed. She’d wanted to grab something quick and then escape.

“Good morning, mama.” She set down her handbag on the old kitchen table and walked to the provisions cabinet to draw out the All-Bran Cereal pack. “Did you sleep well?”

“No, I didn’t.” Her mother answered, tone short. “Should you be eating that?”

“It’s complete wheat, mama. And this is skim milk. Besides, it’s my birthday today. I think I can afford to splurge a little.”

She said nothing, only made her customary humph.

Buchi took the ladder-back chair beside her and looked at her. “Won’t you wish me happy birthday, mama?” She kept her tone playful.

“I am more interested in wishing you happy married life, Onyebuchi.”

She’d asked for it. She should have avoided unnecessary conversation, eaten her cereal and just left in peace. “I am not unmarried because I want to be, mama. I cannot marry myself. A man has to come for my hand.”

“A man can only come for the hand of a woman who is available, Buchi.”

“I cannot leave my job, mama. It is this job that is putting food on our table, shelter over our heads and clothing on our backs. Adding joblessness to my status isn’t going to make me more attractive to men, mama.”

“Not joblessness, but how about a less demanding job?” Her mother’s face was angry. It was so most days now. “What man do you expect to marry a woman who leaves home before six-thirty a.m. and returns after eight p.m., eh?”

“It is a bank job, mama. It is demanding. I didn’t make it so. It just simply is.” Her appetite was gone. Buchi picked her bowl to dump the contents into the bin. “Why are you always blaming me for still remaining single, mama? Why do you always make it my fault that no man has come for me?”

“Because a woman is responsible for how a man perceives her.” Impatience, and that anger, creamed her voice. “You work Mondays to Saturdays and expect a man to believe you will have time for him and his children? Mba, that is not possible. Thirty-seven, Buchi. Thirty-seven years old. At your age, I have long finished having children. How is it possible that all your brothers are married and you are the only one who can’t get a man to commit to you, eh? How can it be?”

“I don’t know how it can be, mama!” Exasperation, and pain, made her toss the breakable bowl into the sink. “I want to be married! I want to have children! But I cannot kill myself to make myself marriageable to a man. I am thirty-seven and unmarried but there are other things I have achieved which many women haven’t!”

“And what good is a woman owning cars and landed properties to her and her family? A woman is meant for home and family. This is Africa. We are traditional and cultural.” Her mother pealed out a short hiss. “Do you know that people are whispering that it may be her mother responsible for her only daughter not yet married? Chei! I am being looked upon as the witch behind your predicament. Buchi, they are saying that I probably want you to stay at home and look after me in my old age. Can you imagine?”

“Then tell them it’s not so, mama. Tell them you are impatient for me to get married but husband is not coming.” She grabbed her handbag from the table. “Because that is the only reason I am still single, mama. Husband is not coming and I can’t kill myself to get one!”

“You can’t kill yourself but can you make yourself available, eh, Onyebuchi?”

Buchi closed her ears to the many complaining words that followed as she stormed out of the house and straight into the garage. She dumped her handbag on the front passenger seat, slid in car key and then, sat back and shut her pricking eyes.

Thirty-seven. Older by another year and still so much of a disappointment to her mother… and to the society in general. God, why are not you hearing me? Why are you doing this to me? What sin did I commit that so offended you?

The tears slid down her cheeks and Buchi dug into her bag to retrieve her handkerchief.

Her phone started vibrating, so she dug it out too. It was a text message from Lade:

Happy Birthday. BE HAPPY. You deserve to be. I love you.

That was all. And it worked.

Buchi wiped her face and inhaled deeply. She deserved to be happy.

“I deserve to be happy—married or unmarried.” She said aloud to herself.

Then she started the car and drove out of the garage, chanting those words in her head.

*** *** ***

I have decided to alter the Posting days. There are 4 women and so, I need four posting days. So it’s now: Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays & Sundays. Don’t worry about over-tight schedule. The day I can’t post, I will be honest with you all and I hope you will all bear with me.

Hope you enjoy our launch episode. Cheers.

*MHS will return tomorrow… by God’s grace.*

*eBook Purchase made easier! Via: *RECHARGE CARD PINS!*

33 Responses to No Perfect Life – 1

  1. GRAB THIS: 8844 2635 5040 0277. MTN

    Holler when you do.

  2. Glowing Kosnie says:

    Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! I did enjoy this…Thanks TM and errrmmm!!! Buchi such is life, we might not all have what we dream of but know God gat your back all the same Happy Birthday Pretty Woman…Bring it on TM I can’t wait!!! This.is.Another.Blockbuster

  3. Iyke David says:

    Some mothers ehh! See as she threw it to her straight.

  4. Glowing Kosnie says:

    Yes I got it…Thanks TM for the airtime #DividendsOfCommentingOnTime!!! You Rock Sis God Bless

  5. Grace says:

    Not fair, someone has already used d card ND am the first to comment

  6. Patience Bassey says:

    Lol, some mothers eh! I Was even crying for the lady

  7. FavouriteShades says:


    The pressure to get married tho…. Especially from mothers and most times they feel its thier daughters fault

    Oh well…HBD Buchi….u deserve to be happy…. Single and all.

    And that conversation with God…so apt

  8. Ego says:

    And that’s how a mother will torment her daughter’s life because of this marriage ish until she becomes frustrated and falls into a wrong hand just to answer Mrs someborri. Buchi dear just be happy for you… u can’t come and kee yourself mbok

  9. Justice says:

    Sincerely it’s time to change this get married or die trying mentality….what a birthday present from a mother.

    Weldone TM

  10. datoks says:

    The pressure to get married is so real…Thanks TM

  11. mystiq says:

    I can feel her pain…society has gradually turned age of marriage into a norm

  12. chic says:

    Naija mothers ehn..
    It’s so annoying.

  13. Ogochukwu says:

    Buchi’s Mother is something else,why cant she encourage and pray for her daughter instead of laying à truck load of blâme on her. Nice one TM

  14. Doyinsola says:

    The societal heat is much, can’t deal…on seat for this long ride, weldone ma’am

  15. Adefunke says:

    be happy cause you deserve it

  16. Assuming she is jobless, her mother won’t spare her too. It’s better late than to be the late. How many women have died or are dying in marriage?

  17. Aramide ibk says:

    Naija mum sha, see how it is purely her daughter’s fault she is not married. Buchi be happy jare. Nice one Aunt T M.

  18. star says:

    hbd buchi u deserve to be happy. some mothers need to take a chill pill about this marriage tin oh. Weldon ma

  19. mcsteph says:

    Buchi, it is well. Mama was Frank but it was necessary, I actually do not blame her. God’s going to do it very soon( TM too she’s the one writing… laughs)

  20. Toyenlon says:

    Pressures heaped on unmarried ladies, hmmm in this society is too much. Her mother couldn’t even wish her happy birthday, so sad.

  21. Omotola says:

    I can so reckon with this…unmarried at mid 30s, frustration from mum… Thanks for the story TM.

  22. frances says:

    I have a motto in life. When I am sad,angry,hurting, depressed, confused and you cannot help me find joy,pls don’t add to my misery, I already have a cup full.Buchi dearie when mummy or any1 else comes at u,smile and tel dem ‘you are so right’ and walk right on.Remember Craig David’s song: am walking away, from the troubles in my life.

  23. Roselyn says:

    Felt buchi’s pain. That’s our society for you. Thanks Laìde for that text message, came in at the right time. Thanks TM.

  24. mady says:

    Dis issue too about women getting married is just something I can’t understand. .
    Yes m 19 buh I can feel her pain, since I was young av always said dah ion wanna get married early,
    D day ma mum heard it, she almost fried me raw.. Am her first u know and Dere are 4 oda gals after me.. She was saying m gonna b a stumbling block 4 em… Leaving me wondering if marriage s nt a choice.

    • Wow, that young, mady. Cool… #side-eyes. Lol.

      But I don’t get your mum worried about you wanting to get married early. I think it’s a good step. Late starts many times do no one good.

      Anyway, times makes ways for us… and you’ve got time *wink*

  25. Treasure says:

    Ohhhh dear. Don’t cry. Be happy, he makes all things beautiful in His time.

  26. Tara says:

    Hi ma’am.. I’m quite confused as how some series are posted in here. You posted just 5 episodes of no perfect life and have been longing for more.. Is it a book we have to purchase?or it’s just a 5 episodes book. Kindly give details of each series when you want to stop them so we can understand the next step. Thank you.

    • Hello Tara, stories, or series, are posted here as they mostly are in other story blogs. You will find that there are more finished stories here than unfinished ones.

      I sincerely apologise to you, and to all readers, that I have not created the time to address the matter of No Perfect Life. I was, in fact, thinking of doing a post on it today. I will still do so. If I have not given details, it is simply because I am yet uncertain which course of action to take concerning NPL.

      I thank you for bringing this to my notice and once more apologise for leaving you dissatisfied.

      Thank you.

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