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let’s talk Sex: 1: Kissing

Uh-hmm, you read that heading right: Let’s talk Sex and today, let’s talk: Kissing.

It helps when we “know” what we are talking about, right? So, Wikipedia defines Kissing as the touch or pressing of one’s lips against another person or an object. It further says that cultural connotations of kissing differ widely. It can be an act to express sentiments of love, passion, romance, sexual activity, affection, friendship etc. In some other cases, a kiss is a ritual, a symbolic gesture to indicate devotion, respect or sacrament.

That, I believe, clearly defines kissing. So now we “know” what it is.

Now the act of kissing is not just open wide your mouth and “wham”, you plant it there. Although that is how many… a whole lot of many folks do it — yank open their mouths and plunge their tongue deep in your throat and begin to waddle about…

Um… sorry, I got distracted. Where were we again?

Oh yes, the act of kissing. Yes, it’s not just the put your mouth there and making that hissing noise thingy, uh-uh. Kissing actually has some techniques to it and that is simply because it is meant to be an “Art”… not just an “act”.

But… today, we are not here to talk about the art and techniques of kissing. If you people want that after reading, and talking actively, on today’s launch post of Let’s talk Sex, then you guys let me know and if it has a majority vote… I just might get researching.

Today though, I got another thought in my head. Like it’s been roaming there since… well, almost forever. Forever would be since someone first plunged their tongue… uh, I mean since someone first bequeathed me a chaste kiss… #halo-on-me-head.

What the heck do people like about kissing???

Like WT…H!!!

Someone’s gonna open their mouth, yank them over your own and… begin to pour their saliva into your mouth as their tongue paddle about in your throat? And you are going… “mmm…ahhh…ooohhh”… instead of… “eeewww” and bequeathing them a sweet-mama-worthy factory-reset slap?

WT…H!!!

You guys recall the Kiss Me If You Can “unfinished” series?

Mmm-hmm, that wasn’t all fiction. That actually was a teeny-weeny part of yours faithfully here. I am Philemaphobic. By that I mean, I have a phobia for kissing… and so, suffer from this little syndrome called: Philemaphobia.

It’s not a popular phobia, I know. But some of us are actually truly hygienic… #duh!

But… but… but… seriously o, wetin una sai una like make person mouth dey wash imself for inside una mouth sef, eh?

How person go open im mouth mwah and come dey push am against my own? I dey there when im brush im teeth? How about the wideness and kpomoness of the mouth nko? Bad breath nko? And even if the breath no bad, who tell you sai I like make person dey breath for my face? Na you be Holy Spirit wey wan breath on me?

Who even invented kissing sef?

Who send am?

Why should we be exchanging saliva and call it “love”, “affection”, “romance”? Which kain useless romance be that? Saliva-dripping romance?… tah!

Abeg, nobody should ask how me and Oga hubby dey romance ourselves o. E no consign you. Person dey meet who fit am abeg. Wetin sef?

If we can’t share cutleries, cups, and some people can’t even share plates, why then are we sharing “lips”? You can’t drink the water I sipped from and you want to bury your mouth inside my own and pour over three decades of saliva grooming inside? Thunder fire…

Em… em… sorry, folks. It’s the temperature… it gets high when I start thinking kissing.

But seriously, people, on a personal note, I can’t stand kissing. Forget that I am a Romance Writer o. I don’t like kissing rah-rah. I am disgusted when I see a head pushing towards mine and I inwardly, and sometimes outwardly, cringe and mentally go, “chai, na God go punish dis mumu ooo”… #Lol.

I used to unconsciously swipe my hand over my lips after kissing hub and that used to hurt him real bad… until I learnt to hold it in. But now… well, we got a different understanding. That’s why M is my man of the millennium. I’m with him until death do us part… no be joke.

So… share with me, people. Who really likes the act of kissing?

Who actually enjoys kissing?

Who thinks they are good at kissing?

And who is not worried about the “unhygienic” process of kissing?

Some of una don kiss many mouths, but if person dey suffocate for ya front, you no go fit give am mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. #fear-God-o.

So, it Let’s Talk Sex… and we are talking Kissing today. Who’s like TM? Who can’t get enough of the saliva-exchange romance? And how big a thing is it for you?

Hey, don’t you dare go “I’m-a-good-girl/boy-and-can’t-talk-sex-matters” on this matter with me o! Get in here… and get talking.

It’s Thank-God-It’s-Friday, people, and we are launching our Fridays Let’s Talk Sex No Holds Barred Series. Here, we are going to talk it. If you are below 18… go home to Mama and stay off this blog. You shouldn’t even be here… cos TM don’t write for kiddies yet.

So, let’s talk… tell me your take on “KISSING”… eeeeeewwwwwwwww… #run-outta-post.

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47 Responses to let’s talk Sex: 1: Kissing

  1. Unique Ell' says:

    TM oooooooo,you no go kill me. But me too,don’t really enjoy kissing oooo! Hubby say I don’t know how to kiss sef! So y bother learn ni!

  2. Iyke David says:

    The best part of love making is kissing. It surely sweeter than honey when you kiss or being kissed by some one you Love. If you cannot kiss for at least five minutes before the action, then you are not enjoying the the real show. But anty you most have your own good point of not a good ‘kisser’.

  3. Patience Bassey says:

    I think I’m like you, I don’t like kissing and I don’t even know how to kiss. Before you kiss me,I Must make sure you clean or wash your mouth very well. I can’t stand seeing anything on the lips you want to kiss me

  4. Kissing feels different when I’m kissed by someone I am deeply committed to and then I can develop nausea when someone just latch their lips to mine. Don’t even know if I’m a good kisser sef.
    The hygienic part is very important o!

  5. Zinnie says:

    I love me good kissing, as far as is coming from someone I love and who loves me too.

    But that Plunging tongue into the throat tho, my hand no dey oh…I have phobia for that one oh
    Hehehehe

  6. Treasure says:

    I have always seen it from a distance. I think I like kissing, will enjoy kissing. Seeing that what happens in movies is not real, I won’t be fast to conclude that it’s that good as they portray it because some of them acts are like mmm…tush…OMG! It sure evokes that mushy mushy stuff inside me.
    I love kiss on the forehead too. something about it I really really love.
    I sometimes fantasize what it will be like to kiss and be kissed. and I know it’s gonna be a wonderful experience…someday.

    • Treasure says:

      Come to think of it, who wouldn’t love kissing, Ma T.M , nawaao.
      like someone said here, I think it’s one of the best part of love making.
      I pray I turn out a great kisser to my future great kisser.
      #wishing.
      anyway, if it doesn’t turn out that way, we learn by practice.

    • “I have always seen it from a distance.”… Treasure, you see it from a distance, abi? So, you are like kiss-virgin Emma, abi?
      Chai! This post is telling us shun-thing. Hehehe

  7. Abi says:

    I Neva kiss before simply because I find it unhygienic
    person spit for my mouth??? olomaje o

  8. Lately, Anything that has to do with kissing and all that love mushy mushy stuff just irritates me…..Am I normal like this?

  9. chic says:

    I don’t even know what to say, I don’t have any problems kissing my husband but otherwise, kissing is eeeewwwwy like my children will say.
    The thought of the exchange of saliva can make someone want to puke.

    TM this one is diversifying of the blog, way to go ma’am.

  10. Pacesetter says:

    hummmm

  11. Frances says:

    Well I have not been kissed in over a year and I am saving it for d best man.
    I fantasize a lot bt kissing and I believe I am good at it. (yes I av been told dt). I do love kissing a lot more actually than even making love, probably dt’s y I av big and luscious lips. I would rather kiss than make love. I can stand d tongue inside my mouth with that best man but I shrink from d full treatment. Got to work on dt though. So der u av it dearie,i am a different weirdo frm u.

  12. VictorA says:

    Hnmmmmm…Kissing is just it, kissing. Sex is just it, sex. But when you do it with that special someone, oh lawd…

  13. mystiq says:

    Some pop can make u hate kissing for the resting ur life… I like to kiss if it doesn’t involves tongue. ..biko I can’t stand d saliva and some folks will just be pouring spit in Your mouth and say they are kissing or want to suck your lips out of the rest of the body…It’s just Eeewwwy. So I like to kiss I call mine puppy kiss no tonguing …maybe dear future husband will make me feel different

    • Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I swear this is the funniest comment today. Lwkm @ suck your lips out of the rest of body… Like ehn! Hahahaha

      Mystiq, I pray you meet a “good kisser”… Lol

  14. Justice says:

    Sometimes all you need is to kiss or be kissed…low and behold you are fine again…

    Madam TM actually fantasies and ways of deriving sexual pleasure differ

  15. Candyberry says:

    I love kissing o
    Give me kissing over f***king any day any time as long as your lips are fresh and no MO… I can kiss it till infinity…soft work! * side eyes DEM

  16. FavouriteShades says:

    hmmm…I am late to the party… still…I gotta to contribute

    brb

  17. FavouriteShades says:

    Now I am back…..

    I love kissing, like a whole lot….I can spend an inordinate amount of time on it,and I kiss really good (I know it & I have been told that).

    When it comes to kissing, its important you are kissing only someone you love and you are attracted to,that way all the whole saliva/unhygienic thingie wouldn’t matter to you.Now I am not saying gwan be kissing someone with MO, I mean cuz u care about them,you can have a discussion with them,encourage them to probably see a dentist,get a mouthwash, change thier toothpaste,brush thier teeth more often.

    Finally, don’t assume anyone is a mind reader, speak up about what you like and don’t,for instance some people like all this tongue in the ear thingie,personally I find it so gross and a total turnoff.So you must be willing to teach,correct .

    so that’s that

    • WOW!

      I have found this topic very … expository. It has been quite an informative process, for me, reading and responding to comments. Very information… in more ways than one.

      Now, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m just a “bad kisser”. But… but… no, I’ll stick to my own “way” abeg.

      Wow! I am impressed with the calibre of readers I have. Una too much abeg.

      Kissing MO person, dat own is “murder she wrote” o. But love is blind… maybe it’s anosmic too. Must be sha.

      Happy Sunday, my sweet Fave.

      • Frances says:

        Kissing an MO person certainly means the kisser too is an MO person too.
        Abi she sign death warrant before kissing an MO person? Me fittn’t saut ohhhhh.

  18. Doyinsola says:

    Just reading this, TM, we’re in the same boat ooo, I do not like kissing, do not enjoy it, plus, omg, it irritates me…always a concern for my hubby but what to do,cant help it…way to go ma’am,weldone!

  19. Roselyn says:

    Hiaaaa! Kissing things. My kissing passion was brutally murdered by one Opia iweka guy that I dated way back. Meen! The type of damage the guy imputed on my lips even Julius Berger wasn’t able to fix it. I took race and ran without looking back. Not even his loaded bank account was able to convince me about changing my made up mind. In a nutshell, now I can hug and peck the whole country including my hubby but kissing Mbaaaaa!

    • hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… ROFLMAO! Gosh, this is so funny, mehn! Bestest comment on this talk post. Say what? Bros from Upper Iweka nearly bulldoze ya mouth comot, abi? Passionate tinz. Lmao. Abeg, kissing is for them that haff mind o jare… lol

  20. Roselyn says:

    TM, you needed to see me then.hmmmmmm.

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