Uh-hmm, you read that heading right: Let’s talk Sex and today, let’s talk: Kissing.

It helps when we “know” what we are talking about, right? So, Wikipedia defines Kissing as the touch or pressing of one’s lips against another person or an object. It further says that cultural connotations of kissing differ widely. It can be an act to express sentiments of love, passion, romance, sexual activity, affection, friendship etc. In some other cases, a kiss is a ritual, a symbolic gesture to indicate devotion, respect or sacrament.

That, I believe, clearly defines kissing. So now we “know” what it is.

Now the act of kissing is not just open wide your mouth and “wham”, you plant it there. Although that is how many… a whole lot of many folks do it — yank open their mouths and plunge their tongue deep in your throat and begin to waddle about…

Um… sorry, I got distracted. Where were we again?

Oh yes, the act of kissing. Yes, it’s not just the put your mouth there and making that hissing noise thingy, uh-uh. Kissing actually has some techniques to it and that is simply because it is meant to be an “Art”… not just an “act”.

But… today, we are not here to talk about the art and techniques of kissing. If you people want that after reading, and talking actively, on today’s launch post of Let’s talk Sex, then you guys let me know and if it has a majority vote… I just might get researching.

Today though, I got another thought in my head. Like it’s been roaming there since… well, almost forever. Forever would be since someone first plunged their tongue… uh, I mean since someone first bequeathed me a chaste kiss… #halo-on-me-head.

What the heck do people like about kissing???

Like WT…H!!!

Someone’s gonna open their mouth, yank them over your own and… begin to pour their saliva into your mouth as their tongue paddle about in your throat? And you are going… “mmm…ahhh…ooohhh”… instead of… “eeewww” and bequeathing them a sweet-mama-worthy factory-reset slap?

WT…H!!!

You guys recall the Kiss Me If You Can “unfinished” series?

Mmm-hmm, that wasn’t all fiction. That actually was a teeny-weeny part of yours faithfully here. I am Philemaphobic. By that I mean, I have a phobia for kissing… and so, suffer from this little syndrome called: Philemaphobia.

It’s not a popular phobia, I know. But some of us are actually truly hygienic… #duh!

But… but… but… seriously o, wetin una sai una like make person mouth dey wash imself for inside una mouth sef, eh?

How person go open im mouth mwah and come dey push am against my own? I dey there when im brush im teeth? How about the wideness and kpomoness of the mouth nko? Bad breath nko? And even if the breath no bad, who tell you sai I like make person dey breath for my face? Na you be Holy Spirit wey wan breath on me?

Who even invented kissing sef?

Who send am?

Why should we be exchanging saliva and call it “love”, “affection”, “romance”? Which kain useless romance be that? Saliva-dripping romance?… tah!

Abeg, nobody should ask how me and Oga hubby dey romance ourselves o. E no consign you. Person dey meet who fit am abeg. Wetin sef?

If we can’t share cutleries, cups, and some people can’t even share plates, why then are we sharing “lips”? You can’t drink the water I sipped from and you want to bury your mouth inside my own and pour over three decades of saliva grooming inside? Thunder fire…

Em… em… sorry, folks. It’s the temperature… it gets high when I start thinking kissing.

But seriously, people, on a personal note, I can’t stand kissing. Forget that I am a Romance Writer o. I don’t like kissing rah-rah. I am disgusted when I see a head pushing towards mine and I inwardly, and sometimes outwardly, cringe and mentally go, “chai, na God go punish dis mumu ooo”… #Lol.

I used to unconsciously swipe my hand over my lips after kissing hub and that used to hurt him real bad… until I learnt to hold it in. But now… well, we got a different understanding. That’s why M is my man of the millennium. I’m with him until death do us part… no be joke.

So… share with me, people. Who really likes the act of kissing?

Who actually enjoys kissing?

Who thinks they are good at kissing?

And who is not worried about the “unhygienic” process of kissing?

Some of una don kiss many mouths, but if person dey suffocate for ya front, you no go fit give am mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. #fear-God-o.

So, it Let’s Talk Sex… and we are talking Kissing today. Who’s like TM? Who can’t get enough of the saliva-exchange romance? And how big a thing is it for you?

Hey, don’t you dare go “I’m-a-good-girl/boy-and-can’t-talk-sex-matters” on this matter with me o! Get in here… and get talking.

It’s Thank-God-It’s-Friday, people, and we are launching our Fridays Let’s Talk Sex No Holds Barred Series. Here, we are going to talk it. If you are below 18… go home to Mama and stay off this blog. You shouldn’t even be here… cos TM don’t write for kiddies yet.

So, let’s talk… tell me your take on “KISSING”… eeeeeewwwwwwwww… #run-outta-post.

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