Passing An Exam:

Three patients in a mental institution prepared for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them another five years.

The doctor took the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asked the first to jump. He did and broke both arms.

The second patient jumped and broke both legs. The third patient looked over the side and refused to jump.

“Congrats! You are a free man. Just tell me, why did you not jump?” Asked the doctor.

To which the patient answered. “Well doc, I cannot swim.”

***In my opinion, the head psycho psych should be locked up***

Wrong Side Pain:

PATIENT: “I have a terrible pain in my left side. I think it’s appendicitis.”

DOCTOR: “No, that can’t be. The appendix is on the right side.”

PATIENT: “So that’s why it hurts so much! My appendix is on the wrong side!”

***A hypochondriac patient, no doubt.***

Bad Temper:

PATIENT: “Doctor, you must help me. I keep losing my temper with people.”

DOCTOR: “Tell me about your problem.”

PATIENT: “I just did, you stupid bastard!”

***Well, nothing like an upfront evidence, right?***!:

Then Do It!:

PATIENT: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed.

DOCTOR: You should cut down on drinks.

PATIENT: I don’t touch a drop.

DOCTOR: You should cut down on smoking.

PATIENT: I don’t smoke.

DOCTOR: You should stop taking drugs.

PATIENT: I don’t do drugs.

DOCTOR: You should cut down on womanizing.

PATIENT: Haven’t touched a woman in my life.

DOCTOR: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends.

***Is that doctor from Naija?***

***

*Culled*

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